Slightly sad - but really happy! (?!?What the heck is wrong with me!?!)

Okay, so here is something that doesn't get talked about a lot - the emotional side of fostering.

The last few weeks have been brutal -several crises - 2 deaths - and for the past few weeks adoptions have been really, reallly, reeeeeaaalllly slow...

Especially for cats.

Over the past few weeks I have had one of my own long term foster kitties nearly die from an unknown, probably viral issue that I likely brought home on my clothes. You can probably guess that I am having severe guilt issues over that one even though it is the nature of this work...

We had a long term foster kitty in my bestest buddy Andrea's home die. Yes, he was a senior and yes it was kind of expected, but still...

My senior foster dog Ella went to a really fabulous home but I really do miss her.

And we had something happen that has never happened before in the history of Project Jessie - a relatively young dog that died of weird heart issues during a neuter surgery in one of our all time favorite vet clinics.

As I said - it has been a brutal few weeks.

So, this week, I have a momma cat (Izzy) and her daughter Claire being adopted together - yipee yipee hurray right?!? So why am I a wee bit sad about it?

And - Nelly and Bear (their pictures are above) - who have been in the program for nearly their entire lives (and over a year) - have a home to go to together on Thursday!!!! It is a fabulous home, they totally understand why they need to stay together and I am thrilled for these two kitties! So why am I really, really sad about it. Stupid aren't I?

But here is the secret - you need to care about animals in order to foster. And unfortunately, if you do care, it hurts when they go. And the longer you live with them, get to know them as individuals and love them, the more it hurts.

Yes it is good - no it is GREAT for the kitties involved. They get to have a home of their own where they can have the undivided attention of their new people. They don't have to share toys, or food bowls or litter boxes. And yes, their moving along opens up another space for a needy creature to come in. But still.

Every time feels like a little piece of my heart is moving along with them, and I worry. Are the people really as nice as they seem? Are they really going to love them as much as I do?

My head says - YES! - these are great adopters!!! But my heart is always the worrier - and I feel a bit of bittersweet sadness as I kiss them goodbye.

Oh I know - as I get updates I will feel more and more comfortable. And as the next needy creature comes along I will be nicely distracted and the ones that have moved along won't be so fresh in my mind. But still.

It is the nature of fostering and adoption that these guys come in, get what they need to be well, and move along to a permanent place.

I always send them along with a little piece of my heart - and a prayer/blessing/wish (whatever you want to call it and whatever you believe in) to the universe to keep them safe and happy.

I know that in the vast majority of cases I have made the best decision in letting them go. But sometimes - it still hurts for those of us left behind.

So if you are adopting a new friend from a rescue or shelter somewhere - that's awesome! - and Thank you!

But please spare a kind thought for the amazing foster person(s) who looked after your new baby. They may deserve (and need!) a little pat on the head too. :o)

Shelly and crew =^..^=